


My Epic Beats & Your Shitty Stereo

by Jay_Spank



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BUt Daves bad at talking, Dave loves John, M/M, Youre too Outthere and John's a dummy, poor Dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:52:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5326442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_Spank/pseuds/Jay_Spank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is giving Dave a ride home. Dave wants to drop the love bomb but doesnt know how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Epic Beats & Your Shitty Stereo

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry for spelling errors and such. I haven't written in awhile so I apologize if this is a shit storm. Enjoy!

You’re finally going to fucking do this. You’re gonna go all teen dream movie on this bitch. It’s perfect. You’re in his car. He’s driving you home. The CD you made for him is making sweet love to his shitty car stereo. John’s wearing that sweater with the green jizz monster thing from Ghostbusters that’s so ugly it can’t even be ironic and he looks slammin in it. Plus when you both stopped at McDonald’s (or as you call it MacDaddy’s) John Stingy Dick Egbert bought you fries and an apple juice without you even asking. He just had good taste for once. You even tried to be all noble and shit and pay for your meal of gods, but John denied. Which he never does. In conclusion, some higher fucker or another wants you to do this and has aligned everything for it. 

The only problem is you don’t know how the fuck you’re going to do this. When it comes to touchy feely shit like this you’re basically a handless blind and deaf guy trying to learn to communicate with only an audio book about brail. You’ve never been a feelings type of guy. Feelings completely shit on the chill mysterious cool guy persona you got going on. Which is why you typically do the Strider way of handling feelings by drowning those fuckers in the bathtub of angst that is a Strider. That usually worked. Occasionally you had to give them a little air, but then you’d just pop them right back under cuz you’re a fucking savage in the art of burying feelings. But then John fucking waltz into your heart and then your feelings decided to fight the fuck back. Making you actually have to deal with them for once in your life. 

“Dave, you alright?”

You get thrown back into reality. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. You can’t for the life of shitty memes let John get suspicious. This will makes everything hundred billons times worse. You turn to John. 

“Chill as dill” 

Mother fucker. That is the best you can fucking come up with. You try to keep your cool as you mentally punch yourself in your stupid face. 

“Okay…. Pickleman….It’s just you weren’t making comments about your “sick” beats fucking my stereo and I don’t know. It was weird.”

“Watch your fucking mouth Egbert. These beats aren’t simply fucking your stereo. This isn’t some common one night stand your stereo has with your shitty movie soundtracks with my beats in your stereo…. It’s like this epic love story.”

“Oh my god Dave—”

“No hear me out,” You interrupt him.   
You’ve figured out a way of revealing you’re true feelings through the only way you know how: metaphors.

“You see my cool beats were just living large. Roaming solo because no stereo no matter how expensive and decked out it was deserved to hear its ear orgasming soundwaves of pure love. So nobody did and that made my beats kind a sad cuz it was denying music nature Then one day my beats came across your shitty stereo. It was at first like wow that’s a shitty typical stereo that I do not fuck with, but then your shitty stereo started playing its own shitty jams and my beats were low key impressed by how nerdy and amazing your shitty stereo was. Which led to the problem for my beats. It really really really liked your shitty stereo and wanted its beats to be heard through its shitty poppy speakers because it deserved it. My sick beats didn’t know how to deal and then one day my dankilicous beats decided to finally tell your shitty stereo the truth and hopefully, your shitty stereo will accept my sick beats and they can be together and create the shittiest most fucking awesome beats ever.”

John has a funny look on his face. He says nothing. You freak the fuck out. You fucked up. He doesn’t like you that way and you’ve ruined everything. You lost your best friend just because you wanted to be fucking brave for once. You’re an idiot. You are the biggest fucking dumbass dummy filled dumb cake in the history of everything. You want to cry, but you gotta keep your cool. You can’t embarrass yourself anymore. John stops the car. You are at your apartment complex. He looks at you and smiles. 

“Dave, I have to say…” 

Oh fuck. Oh fucking fuck here it comes.

“That was the best metaphor I have ever heard you say. Bravo.”

You give a weak smile. You hate this buck tooth fucker. He’s so stupid. That wasn’t even your best metaphor. That was a solid five at best. But John can’t fucking read between the giant lines and see that you’re so fucking in love with him. Fuck John. Fuck John and his weak reading and comprehension skills. 

“Just a Strider quirk,” You say trying to contain all your emotions banging in your chest. John giggles and smiles at you. His genuine smile that melts your fucking heart and turns your red iris into fucking hearts and you can’t be mad at him. He’s too drilled into your heart for you to be mad. 

“I love ya, man,” John sighs happily. Your heart melts. Holy fuck you can redeem yourself. Thank you segway gods.

“Speaking of that—“ 

You’re interrupted when John looks at his car clock.

“Holy fuck. I’m late. I gotta pick up Jane”

Fuck Jane, 

“Uhh okay later John,” you sputtered, clumsily taking off your seat and exiting the car. 

“Bye Dave.” 

You close the car door and watch John speed off. Maybe next car ride. 

Maybe next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for finishing!


End file.
